"I'll just lay here and practice my strokes."

The first time I ever farted in front of Scott, we were watching this video and I was sitting on his lap. Or, I was sitting on his lap until he realized what was happening and pushed me off. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVYbOmoThIs

Countdown to Vacation!!

19 Short Days!

(It's hard to draw stick figures wearing bikinis. They come out a little wonky. Don't judge.)

A conversation between two young souls...

Background info: This restaurant just opened in Davis Square and I really want to go. I have mentioned this to Scott several times, as we drive past it on our way to the gym.

Last week Scott was in Florida golfing and I texted him "Do you want to go to Posto with me some night when you're back?" He never responded.

Today I thought of it again and we had this gchat conversation:

Sam: Do you want to have dinner at Posto on Friday?

Scott: What is posto?

Sam: It's the new pizza/wine place in Davis.

Scott: Oh is it that place you texted me about? I had no idea what a post - o was. I thought you were asking me to go to the post office with you.

I Love Babies

Scott and I talk all day, every day on gchat while we're supposed to be working. These are the main categories that our gchats can fall into:

• Here's a link to something funny I found on Reddit! Examples: http://i.imgur.com/pYwBM.png and http://i.imgur.com/RngNb.jpg
• Here's a link to something political that I think you will agree with, also from Reddit! I'll resist posting an example here.
• What do you want to do tonight/this weekend?
• What do you want to eat tonight/this weekend?
• Why are you working instead of talking to me?

And then the one category that only I employ...

• If/when we ever have a child, we WILL be getting it this! Examples:

(This one I would just put apple juice in and use it like a regular juice bottle to freak out strangers when they see the baby drinking from it.)

nobody cares what you have to say, Kara

I love American Idol, but I hate Kara DioGuardi. I had to make a resolution to stop saying "Shut up, Kara!" at my TV because the TV was getting upset.

I took this picture (actually I think Scott took this one...) because of her camo-puff-sleeve dress. To quote the great Scott McLelland: I hate you, can you please go back to the forest you crawled out of?

Thanks to Wizard Sleeve and Whitey who let us be weird, pause their DVR a million times, and take pictures of Kara in the perfect Z-snap pose.

Advanced Logical Reasoning

Fact: There is an old man in Cathy's office right now.

Fact: The office smells weird right now.

Does correlation imply causation in this case? Please discuss.

Fact: I've been eating/drinking a lot of dairy today.

Fact: Something else has been happening to my body that I'm too much of a lady to discuss on the interwebs.

Does correlation imply causation in this case? Please discuss.

Fact: Tim Urban (henceforth known as "Turban") is the worst contestant on American Idol.

Fact: Scott texts his vote in for Turban each week because he thinks its funny to upset me, since I am sincerely concerned for Siobhan's standings.

Fact: Turban never gets kicked off.

Does correlation imply causation in this case? Please discuss.

Poland's Finest

http://www.olgaziemska.com/

This artist was featured on Design*Sponge yesterday and I thought her stuff was just so cool. More than anything else, I'm posting this here for my own benefit, so that I don't forget about her in the future. :)

I HATE SHOPPING

I said that to Scott yesterday and he replied, "No you don't. You love shopping." My mom will probably say the same thing. But you guys are WRONG. I hate shopping. It sucks and makes me feel miserable. Except for online shopping which I still love.

Yesterday was not a good day. I woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed, I had a headache, and basically I was acting like a snapping turtle. Then I got to work, and had some coffee, and my headache went away and I felt better.

After work I had to go to Kenmore square to drop off a paper at my professor's office. It seems kind of dumb that he wouldn't accept emailed papers, since Kenmore is all the way across the city and I had to make a special trip just to turn in my dumb homework, but I shrugged and went for it. So this class is at AIB, the Art Institute of Boston, which is part of Lesley but is specifically an art college. Generally art students are very scary and weird, and they dress like hobos and smoke and swear and are sexually ambiguous, and all of that intimidates me. However, most AIB students that I've gotten to know are actually not that scary, beyond their appearance. But still, yesterday, there was a gaggle of them outside smoking their tar sticks when I was trying to enter the building...and I made myself look so foolish. I thought the door was locked, and struggled with it forever, and tried to unlock it with my student ID, and felt so embarrassed, and then finally one of the smokers showed me that the door was NOT locked, in fact, I was just opening it wrong. And THEN, I got inside and there was a second locked door, which I ALSO struggled with, and I felt really embarrassed again because the smokers could still see me and I looked so dumb. But I finally got in, found the elevator, went up to the second floor and started looking around for Professor Steck's office. I heard this girl's voice behind me say "Hey are you dropping off your paper?" and I didn't think she was talking to me...but then I realized, I AM dropping off a paper! So I turned around and saw that it was a girl from my class, but by that time several seconds had passed and I panicked and screamed out "YES!" in a weird strangled sounding voice. I just...wasn't having a good day. So we found the office, deposited our stupid papers, and I left. AIB trip = successful but not good.

Then I decided I would walk from Kenmore to Newbury Street, and the exercise would be nice and I would go in some stores that I like. I was feeling much better, and I bought some books at my favorite bookstore, and all was well. Then I tramped down farther, intending to go to H&M and spend a store credit I had. Along the way, a girl handed me a flyer and said, "Would you like a free gift from Nike?" Of course I replied excitedly, "YES!" (Second time I shouted YES that day, but this time was more appropriate, less painful.) So I hurried into Niketown with my little piece of paper gripped tightly in my sweaty fingers and dreamed of all the great stuff I might get... And then was crushed to find out that the "free gift" was a miniature baseball bat. Free gift my ass. More like a free way for Nike to haul away their trash. I took my bat, bopped the salesgirl over the head with it, and then laid it down and left the store. I am NO trash-hauler. (I didn't really hit anyone with my bat, but I really did leave it there.)

So now, I'm in a rage again because Nike tricked me into thinking I was going to get something awesome, and then didn't deliver. I tarried on and arrived at H&M. They had a lot of new stuff and I thought it would be so easy to spend $25. I can't even get into the details of the HOURS I spent in that hell hole, the memories are too painful. I hated everything except for 1 tanktop and 1 jacket, and they were both the most hellish shade of pinky-beige you could imagine. I could not purchase them. I look terrible in beige, I'm too pale. And you know how EVERYTHING at that store ALWAYS comes in at least 2 colors? Well apparently those self-satisfied designers were so pleased with their pinky-puke concoctions that they thought 1 color would suffice. IT DIDN'T SUFFICE, DESIGNERS! It didn't suffice. [Sob.]

But I was so determined to spend my credit, because it was burning a hole in my pocket, and like...I was THERE. It's a store jam-packed with clothes. I could find SOMETHING to wear. I looked around forEVER, talked myself out of two different black skirts, tried on some ill-fitting jeans, and settled, finally, on buying 3 t-shirts. So boring.

When I finally left H&M, my rage was incalculable. I was mad about the beige, mad about the other ugly stuff, mad about the time I had wasted in there, mad that my feet hurt, mad that my headache was back. I HATE shopping.

I had one more errand to run and then I could go home. I hightailed it to The Paper Source to return something that I didn't need. While I was there, I walked around a little and looked at the cuteness. I love that store. Everything is adorable. Slowly I felt my rage fly away. I found the most adorable anniversary card for Scott, and felt so much better as I got in line to return/pay. While I was waiting, I flipped the card over to see the price, more out of curiosity than anything else. I knew it would be a little expensive - nothing is cheap there - but I was not prepared for what I saw. NINE DOLLARS. They wanted NINE DOLLARS for that stupid thing! Under no circumstances was I willing to pay that. I slammed it down on a display table, returned my stupid pack of paper, silently seethed at the extortioners of The Paper Source, and left in a huff. My headache was back in full force. I HATE SHOPPING. I haaaaaaaaaaate shopping.

I went home and sulked for a long time, cried a little out of pure misery, and then Scott came over to cheer me up. The day end much better than it began. But still...shopping is my enemy. I shall never shop again for as long as I live.

Also, Happy Easter.