The best thing about spending time at MassArt is that I regularly feel like the most normal person in the room. That is contrasted with my work environment, where even though I believe in my heart that I am normal, loveable, and otherwise fine, I get a lot of looks from my coworkers that indicate otherwise. So anyway, at school, no matter what kind of looks I get I just know that my classmates and I are not even using the same scale to measure normalcy, and on my scale, I have a PhD in the science of being a pretty average human being, and most of them have not passed pre-kindergarten.
To wit:
Jim, the studio monitor on Sunday afternoon, is a young gentleman of the long-haired persuasion who doodles feathered knives in his notebook whilst staring at me. When I arrived at the studio yesterday afternoon, the door was locked, but I could see him and another girl inside, so I jiggled the door handle and then locked eyes with Jim. I didn't think I needed to tell him what I wanted -- it seemed obvious that he should get off his butt and come unlock the door for me. Apparently he didn't understand that, or didn't want to bother, because it took a solid minute of my despairing eye contact and hand gestures to make him come open the door for me.
Amber, a helpful girl who is the least Amber-esque person I've ever met, taught me to anneal metal and use the rolling mill when my professor was too lazy to do so himself. On the evening of our first class, Amber was wearing a hat that looked a little like something that Judy Dench would wear on a rainy London afternoon. It was mauve, and decorated with artificial flowers. I didn't notice her outfit on the evening of the 2nd class, and I skipped the 3rd, but on the 4th she was helping me to catch up on what I'd missed, and she was wearing a Tinkerbell sweatshirt. (To most of you gentle readers out there, these two fashion choices should give you a really solid idea of what her personality is like, and you are CORRECT.) She's basically a homeschooler who studied library science in undergrad and then got a job at a bookstore when she graduated, and is exactly the kind of person that I like to think I have nothing in common with, but if I'm honest with myself I have to admit that we are kind of similar in some ways, and I do like her a lot.
Liz, an aging Alice in Chains enthusiast, drug user, and possible schizophrenic. In all honesty, the only facts from the first sentence are that her name is Liz, and that she is aging. The other attributes just seem to be true and fit with her general persona. In our first class, Liz told us that she just gave up a career in "extremely high-end fashion" to pursue other avenues, and that for now she's living off her alimony. AKA...she got fired. Nice. So, last week, Liz and I are sitting at desks back-to-back and she turns to me and says, "Hey, can I grab my Jesus?" and points at a necklace hanging from my lamp. I say, "Oh sure, I didn't realize that was yours..." to which she replies, "Oh it's not. I saw it there last week, and then it came to me in a vision that I needed to use it in this project." She just drops the "I have visions" bomb like it's nothing! Then later, while my back is turned, I hear her say to another classmate, "Oh it was easy, I just got some fish heads, and then I boiled them." At this point, I search my bag frantically for my phone and begin emailing myself notes of what she's saying, because I can't risk forgetting this. Then, the professor calls us over for a demonstration, and it was a very hard time for me. I was straining my brain to remember three things in detail: 1) how to make rivets (which is what he was demonstrating); 2) what Liz said about drill bits and virginity; 3) what Liz said about Alec Baldwin. Well, rivets suck and I shouldn't have wasted my brain cells holding onto that information. However, when Liz told us, "I broke my first drill bit today. I feel like it was my virginity. The curse is over, you know?" my brain drank it in like lifeblood. This is what I live for. And THEN, Liz points to a picture of Alec Baldwin that one of the metals majors has on her desk, and she asks, "Who's that?" One of the other girls replies, "That's Alec Baldwin. He's in 30 Rock?" Liz pauses for a thoughtful second, and says, "Is he someone's boyfriend?"
Girl whose name I don't know, who helped me with the drill yesterday. She was in the studio working, but is in a different class. I had to ask for help setting up the drill, and she very kindly helped me set it up, gave me advice, and articulately explained everything I needed to know, all while sporting: a buzz cut, complimented by long bangs; a Brokeback Mountain t-shirt; a red lump on her eyelid; and the longest, scariest fingernails I've ever seen.
I could go on...but this post is getting out of control. Instead, I'll leave you with this:
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